I understand that I hurt someone's feeling with one of my last blog posts. I apologize. I didn't think that my opinion was important enough to you to change how you feel about yourself or others. My opinion shouldn't do that anyway. Nevertheless, I am sorry to have caused you discomfort.
I didn't even know that people really read my blog (besides the very few of you who make occasional comments). This is a major problem of social media. I don't know who reads my blog and I don't care. I believe that I say truthful things, but you are free to disagree. You are even free to make a comment in the comment section without my moderation. I don't have a vendetta against anyone specific in this blog - it is my open journal to the world about the things that make me tick. Occasionally, I will work out problems here, or grapple with things that I fail to understand. I have invited you into my world through my willingness to be open.
This openness has rightly caused some concern for my spouse. Please do not take the opinions represented here as hers. She is so good that she won't even read this blog. This was to be an anonymous blog for my family while I was away in Oregon. Then I started using it to track stories that I wanted to remember for class. The inclusion of my housing pictures early on blew my cover. It has served its purpose well, to enable to me write the occasional journal entry and document my life and thoughts. I am a weird dude- I'll leave it at that.
I completely agree with something that my grandfather used to say: "the person with the most power in a relationship is the one who cares least." I am sorry, I thought that you had the power.
In a few weeks, I will change this to a private blog. Not that it matters... I rarely post and nobody really knows what I'm talking about anyway. Why should they, I'm really not that important.
Best,
The Bowtie Professor
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Victory and Gratitude
Last semester I worked a double shift teaching and advising while trying to comprehensively re-organize the department's course offerings and work schedule. The spring semester was free of teaching and full of writing. I am very grateful to have so much done towards tenure. I also have wonderful co-authors who are patient and hardworking. I counted the accomplishments of the past year a genuine success with a footnote - we had yet to receive approval for the revised course scheduling and workload... until last week.
For nearly 30 years, no one had stopped to consider if we were teaching the right classes at the right times or if we were spinning our wheels teaching 4 classes per semester. A simple logical solution (prompted by a budget crisis and subsequent furlough) was to reorganize and do some mind-numbing data work. The result is that our new workload is 3 classes per semester, with dedicated research time in our work time allocation. The obvious trade off is that the classes are slightly larger, but the difference between 50 and 65 students in a class is so small that no one is disadvantaged. Our department is one of the most prominent on campus and will likely serve as a model to transform workloads throughout the college.
So, on gratitude... I am extremely blessed. For once, a logical solution worked its way to approval in a large highly bureaucratic university. I am grateful for the bursts of writing accomplishment interspersed with lots of family time. I am grateful for 90% of a salary when I could be unemployed. I am grateful for those who have given us a nice place to land in case of emergencies. And as much as I complain about the past, I am grateful for those who have given me the support and tools to get where I am. Life is good.
For nearly 30 years, no one had stopped to consider if we were teaching the right classes at the right times or if we were spinning our wheels teaching 4 classes per semester. A simple logical solution (prompted by a budget crisis and subsequent furlough) was to reorganize and do some mind-numbing data work. The result is that our new workload is 3 classes per semester, with dedicated research time in our work time allocation. The obvious trade off is that the classes are slightly larger, but the difference between 50 and 65 students in a class is so small that no one is disadvantaged. Our department is one of the most prominent on campus and will likely serve as a model to transform workloads throughout the college.
So, on gratitude... I am extremely blessed. For once, a logical solution worked its way to approval in a large highly bureaucratic university. I am grateful for the bursts of writing accomplishment interspersed with lots of family time. I am grateful for 90% of a salary when I could be unemployed. I am grateful for those who have given us a nice place to land in case of emergencies. And as much as I complain about the past, I am grateful for those who have given me the support and tools to get where I am. Life is good.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
There has to be a country song in there somewhere
Among the most odd stories I have ever read is this one. It could have been a weird/sad enough to have your caulk gun robbery stopped by a flying plastic trash can with a subsequent retreat to your mother's mobile home where you currently live. But as fate would have it, it gets weirder... he was robbing the gas station to buy crack to smoke with the transgendered prostitute he picked up for the night. Where is a good country song writer when you need one?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Vindication
Being able to regularly return to a place where you used to live is a wonderful experience.
Since returning to my wife's hometown for a brief vacation, we have met with family and friends (and family-friends). I had forgotten how nice it is to catch up on old gossip and funny circumstances.
Last night I had the pleasure of meeting with some of my former coworkers (and really good friends). Inevitably, the conversation drifted to how we all left the business for less dramatic pastures. As they told their stories, I felt less and less like I needed to apologize for the things that my former employer blamed me for*. I have been struggling with how to let him know that I have forgiven him and ask him for his forgiveness for whatever he blames me for. The struggle is that I truly believe my only error was to tell him the truth. Anyway, as we shared our stories, each of my friends had an analogous story to mine, and with one being strikingly similar. I now have 7 data points in support of my hypothesis. Here it is... after years of teaching master's degree seeking students, he has fallen into a pattern of enjoying the first year of training each new mind. As time progresses and the 'students' gain confidence and ability, they start becoming a problem for his ego. He is no longer the star, but an accessory to their self-motivation and work. By 18 months, he starts changing his mind about what he wants, who is in charge, and ultimately how business is done in the office. By two years, he wants them gone. Up until now this pattern has worked sufficiently well for his business because replacements came every season. His last hire is finally working for the salary he has been given for years and has out managed his employees - maybe it would be better to say he managed them out of employment. Now there are two bosses and two employees. Sweet business model, huh?
*Apparently even years after my departure, I am being blamed for computers not working (apparently I am a master hacker ), data disappearing, research not turning out properly, and the like.
Since returning to my wife's hometown for a brief vacation, we have met with family and friends (and family-friends). I had forgotten how nice it is to catch up on old gossip and funny circumstances.
Last night I had the pleasure of meeting with some of my former coworkers (and really good friends). Inevitably, the conversation drifted to how we all left the business for less dramatic pastures. As they told their stories, I felt less and less like I needed to apologize for the things that my former employer blamed me for*. I have been struggling with how to let him know that I have forgiven him and ask him for his forgiveness for whatever he blames me for. The struggle is that I truly believe my only error was to tell him the truth. Anyway, as we shared our stories, each of my friends had an analogous story to mine, and with one being strikingly similar. I now have 7 data points in support of my hypothesis. Here it is... after years of teaching master's degree seeking students, he has fallen into a pattern of enjoying the first year of training each new mind. As time progresses and the 'students' gain confidence and ability, they start becoming a problem for his ego. He is no longer the star, but an accessory to their self-motivation and work. By 18 months, he starts changing his mind about what he wants, who is in charge, and ultimately how business is done in the office. By two years, he wants them gone. Up until now this pattern has worked sufficiently well for his business because replacements came every season. His last hire is finally working for the salary he has been given for years and has out managed his employees - maybe it would be better to say he managed them out of employment. Now there are two bosses and two employees. Sweet business model, huh?
*Apparently even years after my departure, I am being blamed for computers not working (apparently I am a master hacker ), data disappearing, research not turning out properly, and the like.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
There is a much better case to be made than this one
While on vacation in NM, I get to read a number of periodicals that I normally don't. They include Newsweek, Time, and National Geographic. I used to read the Economist, but that was my last experience with a periodical that I actually paid for.
This week, I read an article about marriage that really made me think. Mostly I think that there is a much better case to be made both for and against marriage than the authors make. Nevertheless, it forced me to reconsider some of my previously held assumptions about the nature of marriage in today's world. If the article is correct and this is all that marriage has to offer, I totally understand the appeal of a four year monogamous stint followed by another four year monogamous stint, continuing in perpetuity until your smelly, wrinkly physique no longer could attract another semi-mate and you die a cold lonely death in a corn field.
This week, I read an article about marriage that really made me think. Mostly I think that there is a much better case to be made both for and against marriage than the authors make. Nevertheless, it forced me to reconsider some of my previously held assumptions about the nature of marriage in today's world. If the article is correct and this is all that marriage has to offer, I totally understand the appeal of a four year monogamous stint followed by another four year monogamous stint, continuing in perpetuity until your smelly, wrinkly physique no longer could attract another semi-mate and you die a cold lonely death in a corn field.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Why Facebook kills blogs
I have three sources of information that I use nearly everyday. First is KPCC. KPCC is the LA area's National Public Radio station. I should be a member, but really enjoy being a free-rider because it makes my inner homo-economicus proud. The second is really a set of media outlets (Reuters, AP, LATimes, FT.com, BBC News, etc.) with typical news stories that I connect to via my third source - the Drudge Report headlines. Each of these has different levels of depth to their stories. Sometimes all I really need to know is the Drudge headline. Other times, I want the complete multifaceted story. For example there was a little story on how the person who stole Einstein's brain helped our understanding of intelligence, but not in the way they envisioned.
Social networking has these same levels of depth. Blogging is like NPR - you get to see the inner workings of the author's mind. Facebook is like the traditional media outlets with a variety of status updates, notes, memos, links, likes, and friend networks. Twitter is the Drudge Report headlines of all social media. If you can't say it in less than 140 characters, you can't say it.
Facebook is killing blogging because it is so much easier to allow minimal intrusions into your life, but not so minimal as tweeting. Most often I find myself posting stories to facebook when I should really explain them here. For example, this story which is probably more pertinent to this blog than I want to admit.
Social networking has these same levels of depth. Blogging is like NPR - you get to see the inner workings of the author's mind. Facebook is like the traditional media outlets with a variety of status updates, notes, memos, links, likes, and friend networks. Twitter is the Drudge Report headlines of all social media. If you can't say it in less than 140 characters, you can't say it.
Facebook is killing blogging because it is so much easier to allow minimal intrusions into your life, but not so minimal as tweeting. Most often I find myself posting stories to facebook when I should really explain them here. For example, this story which is probably more pertinent to this blog than I want to admit.
Reading and Writing (pt. 2)
Reading helps writing, but I don't know why. My dissertation adviser suggested that I relax and read when I was having a hard time writing. He said that it helped you write because you were watching the story unfold page after page, much like I had to do while writing my 'book.'
I find that reading sparks my creativity, not necessarily my work writing. Unfortunately, I don't want to write what I have to write for tenure (academic journal articles). Rather, I have started to write a play and a memoir. In these, I can see the story unfold. I find them meaningful. I want to write them. My other work, while meaningful, has little chance to ever be read. Maybe I just tricked you into reading the abstract. Can you see how a memoir would be more fun?
I find that reading sparks my creativity, not necessarily my work writing. Unfortunately, I don't want to write what I have to write for tenure (academic journal articles). Rather, I have started to write a play and a memoir. In these, I can see the story unfold. I find them meaningful. I want to write them. My other work, while meaningful, has little chance to ever be read. Maybe I just tricked you into reading the abstract. Can you see how a memoir would be more fun?
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