Reading helps writing, but I don't know why. My dissertation adviser suggested that I relax and read when I was having a hard time writing. He said that it helped you write because you were watching the story unfold page after page, much like I had to do while writing my 'book.'
I find that reading sparks my creativity, not necessarily my work writing. Unfortunately, I don't want to write what I have to write for tenure (academic journal articles). Rather, I have started to write a play and a memoir. In these, I can see the story unfold. I find them meaningful. I want to write them. My other work, while meaningful, has little chance to ever be read. Maybe I just tricked you into reading the abstract. Can you see how a memoir would be more fun?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Reading and Writing
Both of you who routinely read my blog probably recognize the pattern - I blog in bursts. Get ready for a string of posts. Tonight's installment is long overdue.
When I read, I become really focused. I have the tendency to start a book and finish it in a couple of hours. While my reading log looks nothing like my reading hero's, I've read a lot lately - It helps my writing. Most recently I read Khaled Hosseini's "The Kite Runner." My wife noted that most of the people she knows who did not like the book were male. She attributes it to the forced sodomy scene. While that was not a comfortable thing to read, I disagree. The hardest part of the book was to see the unrequitted devotion of a true friend to a self-absorbed boy. As I read, I began to relive the bullying I endured in middle school. Then, I began to analyze how I had treated others when my situation reversed in high school. The book is haunting because you suffer for both characters.
Tonight I read each post (in reverse order) from a friend of a friend's blog. It is equally disturbing. In finding herself, she loses something very precious. You can feel her struggle in her words. It will ease over time, which is the ultimate tragedy.
When I read, I become really focused. I have the tendency to start a book and finish it in a couple of hours. While my reading log looks nothing like my reading hero's, I've read a lot lately - It helps my writing. Most recently I read Khaled Hosseini's "The Kite Runner." My wife noted that most of the people she knows who did not like the book were male. She attributes it to the forced sodomy scene. While that was not a comfortable thing to read, I disagree. The hardest part of the book was to see the unrequitted devotion of a true friend to a self-absorbed boy. As I read, I began to relive the bullying I endured in middle school. Then, I began to analyze how I had treated others when my situation reversed in high school. The book is haunting because you suffer for both characters.
Tonight I read each post (in reverse order) from a friend of a friend's blog. It is equally disturbing. In finding herself, she loses something very precious. You can feel her struggle in her words. It will ease over time, which is the ultimate tragedy.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Green guilt
Another story with a guilt theme...
I work with the Environmental Studies Program and am affiliated with the Center for Sustainabilty, so I should be 'green,' right? The other day I was in a late meeting (4:00pm) and knew that if I didn't leave right then, I would be stuck in traffic for well over an hour. I told the committee in the meeting that I needed to leave to beat the rush and a very vocal bike-riding faculty member looked up at me and said "you are the sustainability guy ?!?" Yes, yes, I am. I drive 35 miles each way to work because I can't afford to live in a reasonably sized house (enough for 3 kids) anywhere near the school. I would love to do so, but simply can't. At first I was really hurt, then I felt guilty, now I feel indignant. If he wants to help me be 'green' enough for his standard, he can make my wage livable. I'm just not going to trade having my stay-at-home wife and children happy in a comfortable sized house in a nice neighborhood and great school district far away from school for a tiny house in the ghetto of Orange County with horrible crime and underachieving schools. You can try to 'green guilt' me as much as you want, but it won't work with this, SUCKER!
Oh, yeah... Happy earth week.
I work with the Environmental Studies Program and am affiliated with the Center for Sustainabilty, so I should be 'green,' right? The other day I was in a late meeting (4:00pm) and knew that if I didn't leave right then, I would be stuck in traffic for well over an hour. I told the committee in the meeting that I needed to leave to beat the rush and a very vocal bike-riding faculty member looked up at me and said "you are the sustainability guy ?!?" Yes, yes, I am. I drive 35 miles each way to work because I can't afford to live in a reasonably sized house (enough for 3 kids) anywhere near the school. I would love to do so, but simply can't. At first I was really hurt, then I felt guilty, now I feel indignant. If he wants to help me be 'green' enough for his standard, he can make my wage livable. I'm just not going to trade having my stay-at-home wife and children happy in a comfortable sized house in a nice neighborhood and great school district far away from school for a tiny house in the ghetto of Orange County with horrible crime and underachieving schools. You can try to 'green guilt' me as much as you want, but it won't work with this, SUCKER!
Oh, yeah... Happy earth week.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Foreclosure story
I listen to KPCC all of the time. (I should have included this disclosure in the guilt post, but I am not a member and really should be.) One night I heard a story about a couple who lost their house to foreclosure and it gave a life to the families who have lost their lives as they lost their houses. Luckily for Stephanie and Bob (the couple in the story), life has gotten much better and they are apparently happy.
This story shook my world, so I wrote the following email to the producer of the story:
"I listened to Stephanie and Bob's story with a guilty heart. I moved my family from New Mexico to the LA area (Inland Empire, Riverside to be precise) in 2008. I took a position at Cal State Fullerton as a professor and we didn't have a lot of money for a house (I had been unemployed for 6 months and we had to 'eat' our down payment). We found an 'affordable' foreclosure in August 2008 for $190,000 and bought it immediately. The really sad part is that it had sold for $435,000 in 2006, and for $385,000 in January of 2008. The house had lost $245,000 since the peak. We invested another $15,000 in remodeling materials (I did the labor) the house over the next year. We didn't particularly like the neighborhood but the house was now only worth about $165,000 and we didn't want to take the loss in a sale, so we decided to rent it out and look for another house in a better neighborhood. We found another repossessed house in a much better neighborhood that sold for $588,000 in 2007 and was now going for $345,000. It lost $243,000 in three years. After some financial wrangling, we will close on this new house sometime next week.
I am sad to hear about Stephanie and Bob's loss - I even feel guilt for taking advantage of these 'deals.' Each house had a family. Whether or not they made bad financial decisions or were the victims of a fraudulent system - they were first and foremost families. So many dreams have been shattered, and so many lives impacted. I hate to feel like 'the bad guy' but my family needs a home to love. If it were not for these crises, I would not have been able to house my family in Southern California on a single assistant professor salary.
I don't know what it all means, but I do feel for those previous owners of my houses. Hopefully something as good will come to them as it did to Stephanie and Bob.
Best,
The BowTie Professor"
They wrote back with a nice comment about my "thoughtful note" - whatever.
I stand by what I said, it is difficult to hear the stories of the families losing their houses and see these 'deals' in purely economic terms.
My mother always talks about how when my dad died, she felt like the mother superior in 'the Sound of Music' saying "when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." Whether their fault or not, hopefully those windows are big enough for the familes that had the doors to their houses closed to them.
This story shook my world, so I wrote the following email to the producer of the story:
"I listened to Stephanie and Bob's story with a guilty heart. I moved my family from New Mexico to the LA area (Inland Empire, Riverside to be precise) in 2008. I took a position at Cal State Fullerton as a professor and we didn't have a lot of money for a house (I had been unemployed for 6 months and we had to 'eat' our down payment). We found an 'affordable' foreclosure in August 2008 for $190,000 and bought it immediately. The really sad part is that it had sold for $435,000 in 2006, and for $385,000 in January of 2008. The house had lost $245,000 since the peak. We invested another $15,000 in remodeling materials (I did the labor) the house over the next year. We didn't particularly like the neighborhood but the house was now only worth about $165,000 and we didn't want to take the loss in a sale, so we decided to rent it out and look for another house in a better neighborhood. We found another repossessed house in a much better neighborhood that sold for $588,000 in 2007 and was now going for $345,000. It lost $243,000 in three years. After some financial wrangling, we will close on this new house sometime next week.
I am sad to hear about Stephanie and Bob's loss - I even feel guilt for taking advantage of these 'deals.' Each house had a family. Whether or not they made bad financial decisions or were the victims of a fraudulent system - they were first and foremost families. So many dreams have been shattered, and so many lives impacted. I hate to feel like 'the bad guy' but my family needs a home to love. If it were not for these crises, I would not have been able to house my family in Southern California on a single assistant professor salary.
I don't know what it all means, but I do feel for those previous owners of my houses. Hopefully something as good will come to them as it did to Stephanie and Bob.
Best,
The BowTie Professor"
They wrote back with a nice comment about my "thoughtful note" - whatever.
I stand by what I said, it is difficult to hear the stories of the families losing their houses and see these 'deals' in purely economic terms.
My mother always talks about how when my dad died, she felt like the mother superior in 'the Sound of Music' saying "when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window." Whether their fault or not, hopefully those windows are big enough for the familes that had the doors to their houses closed to them.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Guilt
I have an infatuation with guilt. It isn't love, but it is more than a simple friendship- it's definitely not a 'love affair.' With my crazy last couple of weeks, I must have been setting myself up for some guilt-lovin'. A quick recap with the action and corresponding guilt-
1. Action: We moved into a very nice house in a new neighborhood.
- Guilt: We moved away from my sister and her family. I miss them already and feel like I abandoned them.
2. Action: We moved into a house that is twice the size of our old house.
- Guilt: Having twice the house is nice, but feels indulgent. I feel like a kid in a mansion. I have always thought of myself as frugal and minimalist, but this is, like I noted before, indulgent.
3. Action: We moved into a house that has a view of the mountains (Cleveland National Forest).
- Guilt: None. I love being able to see the mountains.
4. Action: We moved into a new congregation for our church.
- Guilt: I feel bad about not being able to adjust to the old congregation. I am an odd person (I know what you are thinking, but it's true - a bowtie wearing professor is the most normal person in the world, but you are probably wrong) and I pride myself on being able to see many perspectives, but I had a hard time fitting in there. I have come to realize that they are all hard working, gospel loving children of God, that I just didn't understand. I feel bad for not meeting them on their level. We also left behind some good people there, who I wish that we could have brought with us.
5. Action: We moved into a house that we repossessed.
- Guilt: This makes our second repo house where some family made a couple of bad choices and ended up losing some part of their life. I am haunted that we now own two repossessed houses simply because of our timing. See more on tomorrow's post.
6. Action: I started eating white flour and sugar again because, 'hey, why not? there is sure a lot of leftover Easter candy that I don't want my kids to eat.'
- Guilt: My body feels like crap and I want more food. Even as I type at 11:00pm, I am eating a smothered chicken enchildada, no wait, two of them.
7. The most important (in)Action: I failed to write my conference paper.
- Guilt: I demand a lot of my students in terms of meeting deadlines. When I was a consultant, I did really well at meeting deadlines with time to spare. I planned this semester knowing that I needed to finish four papers. One is done, another is almost done, one is done in my head (the conference paper), and another needs some major help (I have been working on this one for years now). Tonight I sent an email to the other panelists on my conference panel telling them that the paper would not be ready. I missed my deadline. I failed. Hopefully this thing happens occasionally, and my miss will be but a blip on the radar of a few generally uninterested academics. BUT to me this is devastating. Bring on the guilt
Guilt is a moral imperative for us bald, fat white guys who have written history to our advantage and grown fortunes on the backs of females and minorities. I just wish that my white male genes could take a little break and give up guilt for lent or something.
1. Action: We moved into a very nice house in a new neighborhood.
- Guilt: We moved away from my sister and her family. I miss them already and feel like I abandoned them.
2. Action: We moved into a house that is twice the size of our old house.
- Guilt: Having twice the house is nice, but feels indulgent. I feel like a kid in a mansion. I have always thought of myself as frugal and minimalist, but this is, like I noted before, indulgent.
3. Action: We moved into a house that has a view of the mountains (Cleveland National Forest).
- Guilt: None. I love being able to see the mountains.
4. Action: We moved into a new congregation for our church.
- Guilt: I feel bad about not being able to adjust to the old congregation. I am an odd person (I know what you are thinking, but it's true - a bowtie wearing professor is the most normal person in the world, but you are probably wrong) and I pride myself on being able to see many perspectives, but I had a hard time fitting in there. I have come to realize that they are all hard working, gospel loving children of God, that I just didn't understand. I feel bad for not meeting them on their level. We also left behind some good people there, who I wish that we could have brought with us.
5. Action: We moved into a house that we repossessed.
- Guilt: This makes our second repo house where some family made a couple of bad choices and ended up losing some part of their life. I am haunted that we now own two repossessed houses simply because of our timing. See more on tomorrow's post.
6. Action: I started eating white flour and sugar again because, 'hey, why not? there is sure a lot of leftover Easter candy that I don't want my kids to eat.'
- Guilt: My body feels like crap and I want more food. Even as I type at 11:00pm, I am eating a smothered chicken enchildada, no wait, two of them.
7. The most important (in)Action: I failed to write my conference paper.
- Guilt: I demand a lot of my students in terms of meeting deadlines. When I was a consultant, I did really well at meeting deadlines with time to spare. I planned this semester knowing that I needed to finish four papers. One is done, another is almost done, one is done in my head (the conference paper), and another needs some major help (I have been working on this one for years now). Tonight I sent an email to the other panelists on my conference panel telling them that the paper would not be ready. I missed my deadline. I failed. Hopefully this thing happens occasionally, and my miss will be but a blip on the radar of a few generally uninterested academics. BUT to me this is devastating. Bring on the guilt
Guilt is a moral imperative for us bald, fat white guys who have written history to our advantage and grown fortunes on the backs of females and minorities. I just wish that my white male genes could take a little break and give up guilt for lent or something.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Dumb movies
My wife left town for the week and I impulsively bought a 46" television. I have watched more movies in the last week than I care to admit. I love the 120hz clear motion picture, which has made even the original Superman look nice. What it can't fix is a horrible plot or poor research. Take for example 2012. The special effects are great but two hours of near death misses doesn't make much of a plot. I was excited to see the G.I. Joe movie and it generally lived up to my expectations. It all started to break down for me near the end of the movie when the base beneath the ice cap is exploding. During the under sea chase, chunks of ice start 'falling' through the water on the vehicles below. When a screen writer doesn't know that ice floats, I can't lend them any respect. Seriously, look at your drink in a restaurant. Idiots.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Housing
So we close on a new house in a couple of days. It was another repo. Similar to our current house which lost $245K in value from the peak of the bubble to our purchase, this house lost $243k. It is a nice house with a lot more space. It backs up to the Cleveland National Forest, has access to trails and open space, and has an association pool and fitness center. The house sits about 50-100 feet off of the Lake Elsinore Fault. We are betting that it won't rupture in the next 10-15 years, approximately how long we plan on being in the house. It is a gamble, but so is leaving the money in the stock market.
When I read this article about the effect of interest rates rising, my heart sunk. The author obviously misses anything more than a short term economic perspective. Take for example this statement "For people putting their homes on the market this spring, rising rates may actually be a good thing." Sure, for some people who were selling their house at the exact right place at the exact right time have benefited from the rush of individuals trying to get the $8000 federal tax relief. The value of their house has been held up because of increased demand and possibly short supply. But with a glut of foreclosed homes, joblessness increasing (or maybe staying stable) - leading to more foreclosed homes, and an increase in mortgage interest rates... all I see is an increased housing supply, reduced demand, fewer sales, and an eventual decrease in housing prices. The author even points out that "It's all about affordability. For every 1 percentage point rise in rates, 300,000 to 400,000 would-be buyers are priced out of the market in a given year...For example, taking out a 30-year mortgage for $300,000 at a rate of 5 percent will cost you about $1,600 a month, not including taxes and insurance. But the same monthly payment at a rate of 6 percent will only get you a loan of $270,000." Guess what, we have done little to reduce the number of foreclosures due to joblessness which means we are not really controlling the supply of houses. This means that market forces will push the value of homes down to what people can afford. if interest rates rise, people can afford less. The person who could have bought the house at $300k with a $1600 per month payment when the rate was 5% can still only get qualified for a $1600 per month payment when the rate is 6%. This means that the house that was once $300k is now only worth $270k. This argument is based on some pretty obvious assumptions about buying power, lending rules, demand being held constant, and supply increasing - but I think that they all hold, at least for California.
This could imply that my new house will lose anther 10-15% of its value in the coming 2 years - also what happened with the house we are in now.
When I read this article about the effect of interest rates rising, my heart sunk. The author obviously misses anything more than a short term economic perspective. Take for example this statement "For people putting their homes on the market this spring, rising rates may actually be a good thing." Sure, for some people who were selling their house at the exact right place at the exact right time have benefited from the rush of individuals trying to get the $8000 federal tax relief. The value of their house has been held up because of increased demand and possibly short supply. But with a glut of foreclosed homes, joblessness increasing (or maybe staying stable) - leading to more foreclosed homes, and an increase in mortgage interest rates... all I see is an increased housing supply, reduced demand, fewer sales, and an eventual decrease in housing prices. The author even points out that "It's all about affordability. For every 1 percentage point rise in rates, 300,000 to 400,000 would-be buyers are priced out of the market in a given year...For example, taking out a 30-year mortgage for $300,000 at a rate of 5 percent will cost you about $1,600 a month, not including taxes and insurance. But the same monthly payment at a rate of 6 percent will only get you a loan of $270,000." Guess what, we have done little to reduce the number of foreclosures due to joblessness which means we are not really controlling the supply of houses. This means that market forces will push the value of homes down to what people can afford. if interest rates rise, people can afford less. The person who could have bought the house at $300k with a $1600 per month payment when the rate was 5% can still only get qualified for a $1600 per month payment when the rate is 6%. This means that the house that was once $300k is now only worth $270k. This argument is based on some pretty obvious assumptions about buying power, lending rules, demand being held constant, and supply increasing - but I think that they all hold, at least for California.
This could imply that my new house will lose anther 10-15% of its value in the coming 2 years - also what happened with the house we are in now.
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