I have prepared a list of reasons why I should be our next commander in chief. They are...
1) I will be 35 years old in time for the election, making me eligible.
2) In a democracy, everyone should have a chance at making a difference, so I want mine. If I am bad, you can vote me out.
3) I have a giant brain that is in need of a new problem to solve, no seriously.
4) I am willing to bring in the most knowledgeable and experienced of my friends to help me run this great country (not unlike all other former presidents).
5) I am willing to campaign for the next 3.9 years so that you don't miss election commercials. You can expect some good ones!
6) I promise to provide laughter and hilarity throughout the campaign and my term in office. If not from me, it will come from Saturday Night Live.
7) I have a lot in common with other former presidents.
7a) Like Kennedy and Obama, I have little executive experience
7b) Like Wilson, I am a Professor of Political Science. (Wilson was one of the founders of Public Administration as a discipline.)
7c) Like John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Van Buren, Garfield, and Eisenhower, I am a forehead exhibitionist. Isn't it time for another bald president?
8) I am able to work with all parties, social groups, and economic levels in moving forward. Just check out my campaign pictures!
I want you to help me! You can join the Facebook group "Tucker for President 2012" and support my cause. I don't want your money, just your enthusiasm.
4 comments:
You've got my vote. Especially with that wagging finger photo at the top. No "Axis of Evil" leader would want to be at the receiving end of that finger!
#9- Just as JFK,you have a lovely wife who would love to set some new fashion trends. ;)
Okay, for real, I'll have to look nice a lot, huh? I'll work on that.
This is gonna be great, Tucker. Joe M. can be your speech writer, John A. can be your lawyer, Michael can be your Secretary of State, and I'll get a new puppy!!
LOL--The black-and-white one with the mustache is my FAVORITE! Thanks for the laugh, and I seriously will vote for you.
re: the goatee - you look like you could be a reality TV host. I expect you to say, "Let's see who's eliminated in tonight's counsel." Or council. Or whatever.
re: the mullet - get that thing back by 2012 if you want my vote. It's freakin' gorgeous!
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