Backlog of great stories

Here are some of the best stories of the new year in no particular order...

Missing lady dies buried under a pile of clothes.
Barack Obama the model of health for middle aged men?
Cleaning up the streets for the inauguration includes a prostitution free zone. As if prostitution was just fine during the rest of the year in D.C.?
In a related story, a student is set to auction off virginity to pay for grad school in marriage and family therapy... and maybe retirement.
Tom Hanks thinks that Mormon Prop-8 supporters are unAmerican. What is unAmerican about religious groups encouraging their members to legislate morality? Think about it this way... all of the anti-Christians are an unoragnized religious group that encourages Congress to pass laws that are contrary to Christian morals.
California is no longer the land of the American dream. People are fleeing to other states to find it there. With the housing crisis pushing the value of my house down an additional $15,000 in the last 6 months (after a $240,000 loss prior to my purchase of the house) it would seem that many who thought it was too expensive might flock here in droves. In fact, housing prices here are now comparable, if not more favorable, to all of the places we have lived in the last 8 years.
If you are judging Russian political popularity, you could see how their respective vodkas are selling. Putin leads Medvedev.
Roadkill goes mainstream, well , kind of. Rocky Racoon better watch out if he is going to make it through this economic crisis uneaten.
Robert Redford is a racist anti-poverty environmental elitist. In this political climate is anything safe?
Mexico might collapse. What would the USA do? Build a bigger fence, or instantly have to deal with the issue of immigration? I'm thinking about buying some land...
And last of all, if the world wasn't safe enough already, we now will have a gay super hero to protect us. Horray!